Calamari Eating Contest
Competitive Eating

Calamari Eating Contest

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Giant hamburger at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

I arrived at Mallie’s Sport Bar and Grill a little after 2PM Eastern time. A crowd was already forming to see both the calamari eating contest and the to be later revealed new record holder for world’s largest hamburger. Luckily everyone was dispersed enough eating and drinking that I was still able to take a prime front and center view of the action!

Before the contest I said hi to some of the eaters who I have met through my years of stalking, er, watching them. I wished them all luck than claimed my position up front as more people started crowding in.

Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

And then we waited, of course, as giant burger centerpieces were laid, and cups set, and plates and plates of calamari hit the tables. Finally it was time to begin as all the eaters were called to take their places. Besides the favorites of Pat “Deep Dish” Bertoletti and Sonya “The Black Widow” Thomas and Crazy Legs Conti and Humble Bob Shoudt there were some locals and newcomers and even Pat’s brother Joe!

Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

They all took their places on stage and before you knew it they were off eating!

Sonya Thomas at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Pat Bertoletti at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Plates and plates of fried squid disappeared. Most of the center players took to squishing the tentacles together into a seafood and breading ball that was devoured. It was hard to keep up with who was winning. The table enders seemed to slow quickly, eating all the way to the end but not at the ferocious pace of Sonya and Pat and Bob.

Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Sonya THomas at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Humble Bob Shoudt at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Sonya Thomas and Pat Bertoletti at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

And as the crowd counted down from ten to one there was seemingly no clear cut winner. They finished their chipmunked particles and counted plates and in the end, with three of them on their seventh plate, the emcee had to bring out the scale to weigh them in.

Pat Bertoletti at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

In the end it was Crazy Legs (3.4375 lbs.) in fourth, Sonya Thomas in third (6.125 lbs.), Humble Bob Shoudt (6.3125 lbs.) in second, and Pat Bertoletti (6.625 lbs.) in first.

Bob Shoudt wins second place at the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Pat Bertoletti wins the Calamari Eating Contest at Mallie's Bar and Grill in Southgate Michigan

Calamari seemed to me that it would be a hard one to eat. I can eat a lot of calamari myself but I would think the chewiness would hinder the ability to eat it fast. Crazy Legs later told me that his strategy was to ball the entire plate of food into one squished mash like he’d seen done long ago in a cheese fries competition, but in the end he had forgotten to take into account the denser chewier inside the squid provided that didn’t allow his theory to work as well as he had hoped.

But in any case they all gave a strong showing and the contest was exciting!

Val

Val is the founder and head road tripper at Silly America. Having grown near Berwyn's car kabob, her fascination to roadside attractions started early. Val is currently traveling the world and blogs about her life, food, and travels on her <a href="http://www.choosingfigs.com">personal website</a>.

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Silly America

Silly America is a roadside attractions blog designed to help travelers find unique stops for their next road trip. The website is a tribute to the great American road trip, devoted to all that is odd in America: roadside attractions, tourist traps, peculiar destinations, bizarre events, road food, fun festivals, and more! It’s a travel website and trip planner for those seeking an offbeat road trip.

About Silly America

Silly America is a roadside attractions blog designed to help travelers find unique stops for their next road trip. The website is a tribute to the great American road trip, devoted to all that is odd in America: roadside attractions, tourist traps, peculiar destinations, bizarre events, road food, fun festivals, and more! It’s a travel website and trip planner for those seeking an offbeat road trip. Read more.